Tag Archives: Humor
The Splendiferously Bearded Writers Social Club: Wilkie Collins
- Name: Wilkie Collins
- D/O/B: 8 January 1824
- Member Since: 1871
- Status: Charter Member
- Important Role: Director and star of the club’s amateur theatricals
- Hobbies: Socializing with Charles Dickens; acting; painting
“Everything comes to he who waits, except a loaned book.”-Kin Hubbard
Daily Diversion #271: Sweet-Smelling Jane Austen
[Merrily I Read] Book Review: Girl About Town, Chapters Four-Five
A man and woman are having a conversation; but it is no ordinary conversation, for they are flirting! The opening of Chapter IV finds Our Heroine, Anne Hartley, and her train buddy, Peter Foster (a.k.a. Nice Young Man), engaging in flimsy banter about…nothing particularly interesting. Perhaps this is just the nature of flirting? Only the participants find it amusing or gratifying.
“You don’t look like the type to be ordered about.”
“I suppose now you do the ordering?” He chuckled with amusement. “I’d love to see you in school. Tell me, where is the school? Can I come and see you there one day?”
“Indeed you can’t! You’ll probably get me the sack.”
“I shall hang about for you till you come out, then.”
“Laughter played around Anne’s lips. “Not if I know it, young man!” she thought.
Someone needs to tell Peter that joking about stalking is never attractive. Of course, neither is lying about being a school teacher when one is actually a lingerie model; but he doesn’t know that yet. I wonder how long Anne will be able to keep her “secret” from her fellow house-guests? She appears in adverts. Shouldn’t someone recognize her?
After what seems like hours of chit-chat, it is finally time for dinner. Seating arrangements at country house-parties are strange, mysterious things–at least to us mere mortals. However, obvious plot devices are much easier to fathom. Our Heroine is, therefore, seated between Robin and the Nice Young Man. Because, of course she is… Continue reading
[Merrily I Read] Book Review: Girl About Town, Chapters One-Three
- TITLE: GIRL ABOUT TOWN
- AUTHOR: KATHERINE PENT
- YEAR PUBLISHED: 1937
- PUBLISHER: HILLMAN CURL, INC. (A STREAMLINED ROMANCE)
Two women are having a conversation; but it is no ordinary conversation, for they are worried! Or, rather, the one named Anne Hartley is worried. Felicity Winton is more concerned with the state of her manicure.
Several useless dialogue tags later, Anne is still melodramatically wringing her hands over the lateness of her boyfriend, Robin Gunter. How very English. I’m pretty sure she is the Girl About Town of the title, and that the town in question is London.
At this point, I’m starting to think that poor Robin and his scarlet-and-black racing car are mangled somewhere in a ditch. How will Anne and Felicity make it to the party for which they are preparing, if Robin and his fancy wheels don’t escort them? The answer is, surprisingly, a bus.
Someone, it seems, is dating above her station. Cripes!
Nope, scratch that. A paragraph down we are informed that, although Robin is of the moneyed class and Anne is but a lingerie model (the horror!), they are social equals. How is this possible, you ask? It involves a boring story about dead parents, a wealthy aunt, and our plucky heroine’s very modern determination to make it on her own in the city rather than being stuck living in the country on the sufferance of her relations.
I’m pretty confident that this “social equals” bullshit is going to come in handy later.
Oh, and Robin is not dead! His sexy automobile is also, presumably, fine.
“Why, Felicity!” She turned round sharply as Felicity came into the room and closed the door behind her. “What is it?”
“Darling. It’s not Robin.”
“It’s his mother. She wants to see you. I’ve shown her into the sitting-room.”
Uh-oh. Here’s our plot!
Mama Bear Gunter, it seems, does not want her handsome and dashing cub to marry a poor, tacky-ass model.
“There was going to be trouble and no mistake!”
Mrs. Gunter has sent her son to Cannes, far from the fleshy temptations of “A girl of your class! A girl whose figure is displayed in every newspaper. It’s common! Cheap! Vulgar!” What’s more: Robin has no idea that his dear mother is visiting Anne.
Things just got really real, y’all. (I’ve never written or spoken the word “y’all” before, but it undeniably fits here.)
Then, much to my surprise, our girl Anne stands up for herself!
“How dare you speak to me like that? she cried hotly. “What right have you to come uninvited into my flat and behave like this?”
She continues yelling at her newly-minted nemesis for an entire page. Mama Bear knows that Anne speaks the truth, but, instead of having an adult conversation with her, leaves in a haughty, upper-crust huff.
Anne knows that Robin is out of her life forever!
It’s an entire year later. Never fear, though, because Anne is realistic and level-headed. Pink geraniums are blooming in the window-boxes! Everything is fantastic! She’s totally moved on with her life. Haha!
“I told you you’d get over it in time,” said Felicity.
“And you were right,” agreed Anne, but in her heart she knew that Felicity was not right. She had not yet got over her love for Robin.
What are the odds that Robin is really an insufferable ass? There is just no way that this guy is all that Anne makes him out to be. And even if he is, has she already forgotten about his mother? Run, girl, run.
Hey, what’s this? Oh, just a timely letter from Anne’s wealthy Aunt Alicia inviting the former to a house-party in the country. Anne’s cousin Muriel is coming of age. This is highly important and must be celebrated with other rich people. Continue reading
The Splendiferously Bearded Writers Social Club: Sir Henry Taylor
- Name: Sir Henry Taylor
- D/O/B: 18 October 1800
- Member Since: 1864
- Status: Charter Member
- Important Role: Chief adviser on beard grooming techniques and trends
- Hobbies: Modeling; being friendly with literary giants; clerking; looking intensely soulful
His beard is so awe-inspiring as to deserve a second look:
The Splendiferously Bearded Writers Social Club: Vincent van Gogh*
- Name: Vincent van Gogh
- D/O/B: 3/30/1853
- Member Since: 1886
- Status: Active Member
- Important Role: Giving art lessons to fellow members
- Hobbies: Going on long walks through the countryside; living intensely; being misunderstood; transforming the art world
*Vincent van Gogh was an exceptionally talented letter writer, at a time when correspondence was an art form. His letters are vivid, intelligent, and beautiful word paintings.