Any aspiring professional willing to take writing advice from E.L. James is an idiot. Although her bank account is inspirational, her ability is not. The opposite direction is this way. —————> You are welcome.
E.L. James’ ‘Shades of Grey: Inner Goddess’: a writer’s journal [courtesy Los Angeles Times Books]
A Small Press Life: Books. Art. Writing. Life. Tea. 
I’ve actually lost sleep over the fact that this woman has gotten as much attention, money, and publicity as she has with such disregard for talent. Although I guess it says more about the readers than her, in some ways.
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I haven’t lost sleep (only because I tell myself she isn’t worth my time), but I am distressed during waking hours by the popularity of these wholly unoriginal and dreadfully written books. The whole enterprise is shoddy.
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I felt the same way about Twilight, and I never thought it could get any worse, but Fifty Shades proved me wrong.
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I thought the same thing. Then this happened. It is probably very good for my sanity and hopefulness that I avoid fan fiction of all types.
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Interesting post. I’ve read her books (yes, all three) and I agree her writing is dreadful. But isn’t one of the purposes of writing to entertain? I guess it depends upon what kind of writer one wants to be. And even writing a bad book is hard work, let alone writing three. 🙂
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Some of us cannot be entertained by bad writing. 🙂 I am in that category, and I know I am not alone. Also, I am of the opinion that writing 3 books is more of a big deal when the books are based on your own original ideas. 3 books of fan fiction based on another writer’s work is quite another thing.
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Come on, there’s nothing funnier than really bad writing!! 🙂
Of course, I agree with you vis a vis writing as a craft. But writing is also big business. No one is worse than James Patterson, in my humble opinion.
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I agree that bad writing can be entertaining, but only up to a point! She crossed that line way too early, and 3 books is mental torture. 🙂 I definitely know what you mean about James Patterson, but at least he can string enough words together to make coherent sentences. He bores me to tears, though, but that is another matter. The art and craft of writing is not big business; publishing with major houses still is, but that game is changing too quickly for us to know what it will be like in even 5 years.
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The title alone deserves a bonfire.
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I don’t believe in burning books, but if I did…I would start with this crap.
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You’ve started a spirited debate! Awesome!!
It certainly makes one fully appreciate the brilliance of writers like Dickens and Twain and Shakespeare who had universal appeal…
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I love spirited debates! It’s funny, because I honestly don’t care what other people read. If someone gets a kick out of those awful books, then good for them. What strikes me as absurd and unfortunate is the notion that anyone could, would, or should use her as a model of writing inspiration. Her books may be many things, but well done is not one of them. 🙂 Inspirational from a craft standpoint? Hahaha.
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I could not agree more! She manages to make sex boring reading, which I would not have thought possible…
I skipped the sex parts after a while to see how the story (thin and predictable) turned out.
But I wouldn’t mind having her bank account. 🙂
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Oh, she does! I think that could be her biggest sin, really. Writing boring sex scenes in an erotica book.
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I think the E in E. L. stands for egregious… Oh my stars and whiskers!
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Funny!
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Not as (unintentionally) funny as James’ writing!
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I’ll buy that!
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I don’t have to say a thing, because maedez said it for me.
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I could not possibly agree with you more! This lady is a moronic writer and even worse storyteller. Its sad that our publishing world has gotten so far away from ethics, quality, and talent.
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I agree with you, too! There is nothing redeeming about her work. Nothing. Everything is off: the writing, storytelling, flow, characterization, the sex scenes. The fact that the publisher put it out with so many obvious flaws left over from the original fan fiction says it all. It has nothing to do with quality, and everything to do with a fast buck.
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How to Cheat Your Way Into the Publishing World 101 with guest lecturer E.L. James. The only thing I have found redeemable about her books is they have spiced up the sex lives of a lot of couples. I just wish they wouldn’t read them in public. Like no one else around you know what you’re reading? Please.
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Your opening sentence is priceless, and more than a little true. I realize that her work has spiced up people’s sex lives, which is sad in its own way. The sex scenes are atrocious and not titillating. Whatever works for people, though. Who am I to judge? I take exception when someone insists that she can write. No, no she can’t. Also on the list of things that will result in massive side-eye from me? Women who think that Christian Grey is the ideal man. No, no he isn’t.
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I just finished reading the first book, after it was randomly passed to me by a co-worker, and spent a few days rolling my eyes at every reference to how she got a feeling… “There,” or him touching her sex. Awkward. The whole thing was just awful! It all just breaks down to this girl being “in the mood” for the first time and not understanding it. Even the BDSM element is secondary. It’s just plain silly.
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Very well put. Everything about the trilogy is idiotic and poorly done. There is an underlying immaturity to these books. I wouldn’t be surprised if James giggled and blushed after writing some of the ‘naughty’ sex scenes. Well-written and nicely plotted erotica exists, so why people choose to read this crap instead just baffles me.
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It’s so true – I’m not overly familiar with the world of erotic writing but I’m pretty sure there are Penthouse letters from the early 90s that read more erotic than this book did! I remember, when I was a teenager, reading “Exit To Eden” and “The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty” by Anne Rice (under whichever pseudonym she used for those,) and feeling a variety of emotions from uncomfortable to curious to downright intrigued, as opposed to reading “Fifty Shades” and really feeling nothing but second-hand embarrassment!
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Honestly, erotica really isn’t my cup of tea. I find the very idea of it rather boring. But there are more than enough well-written books to choose from in the genre. Why anyone would resort to any of the Fifty Shades books just baffles me. I mean, I get that it appeals to certain Twilight fans but come on, people! There is nothing redeeming about James’ work. Nothing. You really hit the nail on the head when you mentioned second-hand embarrassment. When you couple that feeling with either disinterest about or hatred for the heroine (depending on your bent) it becomes a cringe-worthy experience. Reading a James book is uncomfortable for all of the wrong reasons and there is no ultimate payoff or redemption or lesson.
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