A great advantage of throwing an annual themed party is that you have the opportunity to tweak some of the components, adjusting for both so-so elements and after-the-fact brilliant ideas. Knowing that you have a do-over approximately 365 days in the future eliminates any post-party regret. Probably the biggest addition to our 2013 Burns Night Supper is the Toasting Contest. The Chef came up with the idea; he’s a smarty, that one.
All toasts must be original compositions. A bottle of Scotch goes to the winner. Am I puckish in hoping for a bunch of tipsy, off-the-cuff entries? Alcohol often breeds strange, unexpected eloquence in tongue-tied speakers, so it is a possibility. That’s entertainment, folks! Does it sound like I plan on plying my guests with drinks in order to promote a more interesting Toasting Contest? That is not my intention. No, not at all. Nothing to see here.
The Chef has prepared a back-up toast, in case no one else enters the contest. That would be awful, and would mortally wound our sensitive feelings. At least we’ll have a bottle of Scotch in which to drown our sorrows. We hope that this newest delight pleases our guests. If not, there’s always next year.
The Chef’s Toast-in-Progress. Instagram.
A Small Press Life: Books. Art. Writing. Life. Tea. 
this sounds like an absolutely fabulous idea!
(a friend of mine hosts a new year’s eve call of cthulhu campaign with added fancy dinner each year. every time, he asks our friend carl to hold a pre-dinner speech. carl goes on to say “speech? me? why should I make a speech?” then holds a thirty minute monologue that has everyone collapsing in laughter before ending it with saying “but no, i don’t think i should make a speech.” improvisation is always more fun.)
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I hope so! I actually cannot think of a better group of people to be trusted with a Toasting Contest. Our friends are…unique!
The Cthulhu campaign + fancy dinner sounds awesome and like way too much fun! My husband is quite the charmer and can certainly hold his own with impromptu public speaking, but he’s prepared an official toast just for the hell of it. I’m sure it will be an interesting addition to the festivities.
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oh, for sure! has he practise-read it to you yet?
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Yes, right after he finished the first draft. I don’t know if he plans on tweaking it further, actually!
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i’m unreasonably curious about it now. 🙂
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Haha, that’s a good thing!
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please say you’ll post it after the event?
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Oh, absolutely! I just won’t tell The Chef that he is under so much pressure. 🙂
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Your post reminded me of a wedding we were at a few years ago. The groom’s father was deceased, so the groom’s mother gave the toast to the bride. It was a dreadful toast; she rambled on and on and on, never completely finishing one thought before starting another. A small, quiet woman at our table, who was steadily drinking wine, suddenly started shouting, “Get ON with it! Spit it out! Give us a break!” I was horrified – and so were the surrounding tables of guests. I almost burst out laughing at the sight of their disapproving faces and the reorganizing of their chairs as they vainly tried to inch away from us.
May your upcoming Robert Burns toasts be clever, entertaining, and heckle-free.
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Wow, that must have been quite the (rightly horrifying) experience! Hey, at least you have a fine story to tell.
I’m sure the toasts will be highly entertaining. If there is any heckling, I will just throw food at the perpetrators. 🙂 (Okay, not really.)
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Oooh sounds fun! If I offered a drunk toast, I’d probably yell something about Batman and cupcakes and then shout “Bottoms up!!!” I think your chef has a leg up on me in the toasts department…haha
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Ha, I wouldn’t have that much finesse in doing a drunk toast. I’m a writer and am also a Shakespearean trained actor, and public speaking is something I suck at…a lot. Alas, I really shouldn’t get too drunk that night anyway, as I am hosting a baby shower the next afternoon.
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Whoa cool really?! Have you performed in any Shakespearean plays?! That’s freaking sweet.
Wow. That’s so interesting that you’re not good at public speaking…
Haha oh dear. Then yes that’s a good idea to limit your alcohol intake.
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Not good at all. Which is why I write. If I have something prepared, I do well. Off the cuff speaking? I suck!
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How interesting!! I know it’s probably stereotypical but I just assumed that performing well if something is prepared would go hand in hand with impromptu speaking but I guess not!
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No. Not at all. A lot of very famous actors will tell you the same thing.
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Good to know…
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Or sound crazy.
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Haha. I like crazy. I’m a little strange myself 😛
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Ditto.
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